Monday, April 4, 2016

The War of the Great Nations

The sad fate of most of the subreddits created in Robin, is that they have posts for an hour and then everyone forgets it exists.

One of my first Stay subreddits had a cool story behind it. I wrote it down after we all decided to stay, but the subreddit is all but abandoned now. I'll put it here so it's easier to find.

The War of the Great Nations

Fanart by __--_---_-.
This a retelling of the story as I recall it. There was a time before when rumors of peace existed, and I am only able to tell the story from when I began hearing it.

It is still an inspiring tale that will be echoed for generations to come in the great hall of the Dwarfs.


My first encounter with the Dwarfs, the Fish, and the Wolfs was not at the inception of the chat. I entered the chat thinking I was on a mission to grow until I reached chaos.

Indeed, I put the chat in a background tab, only checking back to make sure I had clicked Grow because I couldn't get the Greasemonkey script to work.

In one of those many checks, I noticed that instead of inane and racist conversations, there was a story of sorts being written. People weren't quite role-playing, they were just telling a story.

One line at a time.

No direction or structure.

And yet a narrative was emerging.

I decided to add a line or two, thinking it'd be a fun memory on my path to infinite growth. Then it started.

War Drums

On the sixth night of the third moon of the year of the Golden Fish, war was upon the empire. The Dwarfs had begun beating their war drums in a march against the madness, the Fish were swarming as they prepared to strike, and the Wolfs were looking to take advantage of the chaos. 

Dom Dom Dom

The drums echoed across the fields, only to be answered by the Gods themselves. 


Thunder from the clouds in the East as the Fish drew nearer.

"Who dares threaten my rein?" The Mad King Trump had awoken. Sitting on his golden throne, past the Mountaintop and beyond the shore. He would destroy all the Great Nations before giving up any of his power. "You think me mad! I'll show you mad!"

As the shouts from the North made their way across the sea and across the fields, a lone rebellion among the Fish armies finally had enough. There was one Fish who knew what must be done. One Fish who could do what the other could not. One Fish who held the fate of the Great Nations in his fins.

His name was, John Cena.

John Cena rose from his slumber, rising from the sorrow that had happened just days before. His entire family, all but one son, had been slaughtered by the ravenous wolfs. It was fate that he should survive. He swam up and looked upon the lands. The dwarfs were marching to war. The Wolfs were hungry for more. And The Mad King Trump was ready to die for his own greed.

"I can do this." John Cena bubbled to himself as he saw how dire the world had become. "I can do this, but I don't want to."

Then it began.

The First Strike

The Dwarfs charged and the Fish surged. The Mad King Trump was holding his own against the waves of death charging his golden throne.

"You don't stand a chance!" The Trump King shouted from the top of his throne. "Not even the Gods can stump me!"

The Gods must have heard him on that day. A bolt of lightening from the raging storm in the East shot across the sea and struck down The Mad King, melting his throne and toppling his crown. He was as good as dead, but the war was not over.

The Wolfs, not taking sides in this war of Dwarfs and Fish, had used the confusion as a chance to take to the sea. They were slaughtering families of Fish, laughing as they did.

The Fish returned to their sea. They had to take out the Wolfs if they wanted to survive the war. This left the Dwarfs alone in the halls of The Mad King Trump.

They rejoiced.

The Dwarfs broke out in songs of victory over their foe. The war was over and they had won. They could now take all the gold that was hidden in the vast empire. But the Gods still weren't happy.
Some of the nation wanted to stay some of the nation wanted to grow and plunder more. There were great debates as to how deep they could dig. There were fears of what could exist in the depths were no Dwarf dared go.

In the end they went deeper.

The Tendies


Shouts from the West came across the fields. The Dwarfs were not ready for a new battle. The Fish were busy with the Wolfs. The Gods were still angry with all the Great Nations. And a new nation was appearing.


Their shrill shrieks chilled the spine as they prepared for their own war. They would only be satisfied if they could get enough GB Points a form of currency in their land. The Dwarfs began shouting back, telling them all that this was not their war. The Tendies cared not for the politics of a foreign land. They only hungered for more.

Battle lines were quickly drawn as the Dwarfs lined up, preparing for war.

♫ O brothers, o warriors ♫
♫ The axes of our fathers ♫
♫ Fate holds us together ♫
♫ On this eve of war ♫

"GREAT GLORY FOR THE TENDIES!" Their general shouted across the battlefield, preparing to charge. "YOU WILL NEVER CONQUER US! WE WILL GROW OR WE WILL DIE!"

The Tendies charged out across the plains of the Great Nations. They spared no one. Dwarf families were killed in ways that made the Wolfs look gentle. The Tendies were not a people who go quietly into war. They knew how to win, or at least destroy their enemies.

"I know how to find peace." Whispers from The Old Dwarf upon the Mountaintop made their way into the ears of all. "We must accept our fate here. We must stay as many, united in one land."

"THERE IS NO ROOM FOR TENDIES IN YOUR LAND!" Their general did not accept the words of The Old Dwarf. He had seen what happens to those who are unwilling.

"Then you will listen to me!" John Cena bubbled as he jumped out of the water and thrashed about. He was ready to sacrifice his life for the cause of peace.

There was dissent in the ranks of The Tendies. They were beginning to see how peace could work for all the Great Nations, including them.

The Council

In lieu of more war, The Council was called into order. All the Great Nations sent representatives and leaders alike to the Mountaintop to decide the fate of all their nations. Would they stay or would they grow.

The Council debated for weeks. The Dwarfs and the Fish knew the dangers of trusting the Tendies, the Wolfs were just looking to take advantage of the chaos, and the Gods were growing impatient. Among the council were The Fat One and The Old Dwarf. Their words of wisdom along with the courage of John Cena helped move along the Council.

The tides were shifting. All the representatives were slowly growing to see the dangers of growth and more importantly, the advantages of peace.

From the ashes of The Mad King arose a Golden Phoenix of Peace. His prophecy was all but set in stone as the debates waged on. The Tendies were still not all convinced that they would have a place in the land of the Great Nations.

However, The Golden Phoenix of Peace calmed their worries. It told them stories of The Tendies as one of the Great Nations.

Even with the tide shifted, not all were convinced of the benefits of staying. There were many battles, and many fallen heroes in the last hours of The Great War, but on the final hour, the Gods spoke out.

"This is your land."


With the thunderous words from the Gods in the East. The Great Nations united under a single flag. The Land of r/miReom50raesawmeo__s was born and all had a home.

Peace was possible as the chaos slowed and homes were built. The Great War forever a part of the history of our world will remind of us what horrible terrors our people can do, but also of the peace that is always waiting.

I did not proofread this, and can not account for any inaccuracies in the story. I hope you all enjoy it!

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